Misogyny – No place for such in 2012
mi·sog·y·ny – noun \mə-ˈsä-jə-nē\
Definition of MISOGYNY : a hatred of women (including sexual discrimination, denigration of women, violence against women, and sexual objectification of women)
The year is 2012 and we find ourselves collectively scratching our heads as evidence of misogyny continues to percolate up to the surface in all facets of our life. We find our state’s lawmakers crafting legislature which penalizes women on their personal choices. We have the media seizing on how one body type is better or more desirable than another body type, that any body fat apparently is too much body fat – as they speculate and denigrate via their judgments cast from their throne high above the rest of us mere mortals. And then the arrival of the frightening application “Girls Around Me” designed to highlight the specific location and photo of women in proximity to the device running the application.
Appearance:
I was most pleased when I read Ashley Judd’s piece in the Daily Beast, “Ashley Judd slaps media in the face for speculation over her ‘Puffy’ appearance.” She hit the nail on the head in her writings. And if you haven’t read the entire piece you absolutely owe it to yourself to do so. Then go down and read through the comments. Throughout the comments you’ll note some supporting, many detracting and others making her point – misogyny exists. Here are a few excerpts:
“Consequently, I choose to address it because the conversation was pointedly nasty, gendered, and misogynistic and embodies what all girls and women in our culture, to a greater or lesser degree, endure every day, in ways both outrageous and subtle. The assault on our body image, the hypersexualization of girls and women and subsequent degradation of our sexuality as we walk through the decades, and the general incessant objectification is what this conversation allegedly about my face is really about.”That women are joining in the ongoing disassembling of my appearance is salient.
Patriarchy is not men. Patriarchy is a system in which both women and men participate. It privileges, inter alia, the interests of boys and men over the bodily integrity, autonomy, and dignity of girls and women. It is subtle, insidious, and never more dangerous than when women passionately deny that they themselves are engaging in it. This abnormal obsession with women’s faces and bodies has become so normal that we (I include myself at times—I absolutely fall for it still) have internalized patriarchy almost seamlessly. We are unable at times to identify ourselves as our own denigrating abusers, or as abusing other girls and women.
I then recalled a quote from J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series dated 2006 which appeared in the UK newspaper “The Telegraph” on this same topic:
“I’ve got two daughters who will have to make their way in this skinny-obsessed world, and it worries me, because I don’t want them to be empty-headed, self-obsessed, emaciated clones; I’d rather they were independent, interesting, idealistic, kind, opinionated, original, funny – a thousand things, before ‘thin’. And frankly, I’d rather they didn’t give a gust of stinking chihuahua flatulence whether the woman standing next to them has fleshier knees than they do. Let my girls be Hermiones, rather than Pansy Parkinsons. Let them never be Stupid Girls.”
Legislative:
Legislation which imposes medical procedures upon women, are simply wrong. I agree with the ACLU when they commented in opposition to Illinois HB 4085: “HB4085 substitutes politics and ideology for the judgment of medical professionals and patients. It is time for politicians to stay out of women’s health care.” Sadly, Illinois is not alone – other states are mandating ultrasound exams be performed on a female seeking a medical procedure which would abort their unborn fetus (and for those who didn’t know, I count myself in that grouping), if the woman is at 8 weeks or less, that ultrasound will be transvaginal. (NB: Illinois, Kentucky, Texas, Idaho, North Carolina and Pennsylvania all have legislature being discussed which include mandatory female medical procedures). Really, do we need this. I think not.
Technology:
In yesterday’s Huffington Post (disclosure: I have a blog on Huffington Post), Larry Magid wrote about the “Girls Around Me” application. Words such as creepy, scary and frightful come to mind. The object of the app? All the individual running the application on their device to locate women (without their knowledge or consent).
“The app mashed together information people posted about themselves publicly on Foursquare and Facebook and created a map showing the location and photographs of nearby women. On its website, the company brags that the app can be used to “Browse photos of lovely local ladies and tap their thumbnail to find out more about them.” It’s offered for those “In the mood for love, or just after a one-night stand.” An image that resembles a radar screen with a silhouette of an apparently naked woman adorns the home page. “
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Isn’t it time we say enough is enough?
Isn’t it time we realize that males and females will jointly share, that we each bring strengths as individuals to every engagement regardless of our gender?
Isn’t it time that we realize that without our mothers there are no sons?
I welcome your thoughts.
Thanks. And thanks for being a bloke standing next to a horse, who looks so conventional – the message that needs to get out, that women really are equal to men, that they don’t deserve hatred because of their gender.
What I mean is, the men who are dangerously misogynist, well, we’ll never do much about it. But the ones who support them with their silence or their jokes, the ones who might change, are waiting for men like you to speak. So keep doing it. Thanks.
sometimes I feel like I live in 2 different worlds. One where things are not so bad and another where women are paid less, treated like objects, obsessed with a fictional idea of perfection, abused and subject to archaic expectations and even laws.
Yes, that is exactly my experience too.
Things will change when all men realize they can befriend women.
there is nothing worse then a wife beater, except for the people who know that someone is being abused and do nothing about it… they are just as bad.
Good piece.
Sadly, some people will just never get it.
Like all forms of discrimination, misogyny will be difficult to eradicate. Only a meritocracy truly does so.
Thank you for your comment JR – while perhaps difficult, absolutely worthy of the effort
Thank you for calling out the piece. Appreciated.
I seriously doubt there will ever be an end to it. About the only thing we can really do is show the women in our lives that we are not like that.
As a mother of 3 sons and a Counsellor for many years I came to understand the effects of misogyny and would love all people to have an understanding so that we might eradicate this from our world.
Margaret,
We have an opportunity everyday to make a difference, clearly you are doing your part. Thank you for your comment.
–
Christopher
As the father of two daughters, I appreciate this post… keep up the good work!
Thank you Mark.
Appreciate your reading and commenting.
–
Christopher
As a mother myself, I understand why JK Rowling worries about her daughters. It becomes even more important that parents educate their children on focusing on values and intelligence. Beauty fades, but your personality and knowledge remain.
Anne,
Your comment captures the essence of why I included JK Rowling’s quote. Thank you for highlighting.
And thank you for reading and commenting.
All the best,
Christopher
As someone with an autoimmune disorder being treated with high doses of steroids for over a year now, this article means a lot to me. Though I was not model-skinny when I got sick, I no longer even know who I am when I look in the mirror. I avoid as much interaction with other as I can. I am intelligent and I KNOW that beauty is within, but it’s so damn hard to be “puffy” in a world where skinny is treasured and fat is disgusting. Thank you for writing about this…and for leading me to read some more about this at a time when I really need it.
Christina,
My thanks for both your reading and leaving such a thoughtful and personal comment.
All the best,
Christopher
Very interesting article 🙂 Gonna post this to my wall 🙂
Thanks for your comment Jim.
I edited out your link, as it was not germane to the topic at hand.
All the best,
Christopher
Thank you! As you know, I wrote about Ashley, too, but in the context of The Masters and general sexism.
I rejected the label “feminist” in my 20s (I was an Ayn Rand convert from age 16 and believed in an idealized world of individual merit). This year, I found my feminist gene activated by the insanity of state legislatures.
@steven – I don’t think you realize the full truth of your statement about “media produced” women. It reminds of this excellent European expose of the beauty industry: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knEIM16NuPg
@Peggy – thanks for the link.
@Cammie – please share your link!
Kathy,
As always, thank you for your read and share.
I have put the links re Cammie’s recommendations in my response to Kathy.
Thank you for the link re the European expose – In hindsight, I should have included such – especially the Italian effort in 2006 to ban “overly slim models” as detailed in this NPR piece.
All the best,
Christopher
Great post, Christopher! Even though misogyny is alive and breathing, I feel there has been renewed notice of its ugly existence. Hurray for Ashley Judd for speaking up and out! I noticed her facial difference and thought about how beautiful she was. She’s one of my favorites, because she’s never been a shrinking violet. I’m hopeful in this tumultuous political climate that a hot, bright spotlight stays firmly fixed on the words and deeds of those who keep misogyny alive. Thanks for writing this!
Thank you Jane.
I am hopeful that the heat is sufficiently hot in the misogyny kitchen so as to kill off the bacteria.
Re Judd, she is a talented individual, with a flare for words!
Best to you,
Christopher
(NB: I am a member of the GAPRA faculty)
Terrific post. I encourage anyone who hasn’t yet seen recent documentary film “Miss Representation” http://www.missrepresentation.org/ to check it out as you can learn more about how to affect media portrayal of women.
Nadine,
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. Appreciate the link to the documentary.
All the best,
Christopher
PS: Thank you for your creating beCause and the good work that it has enabled – I will be looking more deeply over the coming weeks, as making a difference is so important and it is clear you are.
Christopher, as usual, you’ve done a great piece here. In general, we as a society have become so used to mean and snippy behavior. It’s the same reason why bullying is so rampant – because “cruel” is becoming the new normal and this is reflected in so many areas of our lives from the media to the neighborhood.
Instead of trying to bring everyone else down, what say we focus on doing and saying something kind? I know it may sound too simple, but sometimes the simple solutions ARE the best.
Corrine,
You hit the nail on the head -> no need to bring one and other down, when we can lift them up.
We can and must work collectively to address the bullying – and cruelty as the new norm. Your Social Smarts program, and others of similar nature gets out in front and teaches pro-social behavior.
All the best
Christopher
(NB: for those who don’t know, I am on Corrine’s Advisory Board)
Another amazing article inspired by Naomi Judd is this one. http://queenofspainblog.com/2012/04/09/ashley-judd-thank-you/
“While fighting Lupus I have turned down television gigs for fear my puffy face and body would detract from my political message.”
Thanks Peggy. Appreciative of your taking the time to read and comment.
All the best,
Christopher
I flicked on the tv this morning and saw Ashley Judd’s segment. Then not long after I saw your post and flashed back to that segment. Lo and behold … you had captured her sentiments and those of many others … including your own.
Thank you for shedding light on this subject and for bringing it to the fore. As a father of a daughter and the father of sons … My wife and I have tried hard to set an example that people are much more than what they look like and that beauty is much more than skin deep.
Jeff – Kathy ran me upstairs to the DVR to watch Ashley Judd’s segment – I had released my own a few hours prior. I am pleased I captured her sentiment.
Jeff – thanks for taking the time to read and comment – when we lead by example, the lessons tend to stick.
All the best,
Christopher
Great points, Christopher. I was just doing an article on the fact that there are over 3 million YouTube videos asking “Am I Pretty?”
I love Rosalind Wiseman and Rachel Simmons work on bringing up confident girls.
Cammie,
Delighted you commented and looking forward to your article re the “Am I Pretty” videos.
For others – I am providing links to
Rosalind Wiseman: http://rosalindwiseman.com/ and Twitter:
Rachel Simmons: http://www.rachelsimmons.com/ and Twitter
Great post. There’s long way to go even in 2012.
Thanks Nicolas,
Every journey has first steps – time to get on down the road is how I look at it.
–
Christopher
Agreed. It’s good to see this topic finally being addressed. Only as more and more people become aware and offer their point of view, progress can made. Thanks for posting!
Have a Rocking Thursday
oh gosh, i used to spend my life in a rage over sexism, this has brought it all to the surface again…
I agree,(but woman are sometimes very beautiful) and its hard sometimes to think other wise. The media produced them almost as an other species.
Steven,
Thanks for your comment.
Christopher
Well said.
Thank you Chris
Terrific post – Ashley Judd’s well-deserved and extremely well-written rant against the misogynistic bullsh*t that media (WOMEN’S media, which p*sses me off beyond words)has been throwing at her and other highly-visible women should be permanently posted, in public, globally.
Thank you Casey, your comments are much appreciated.
Very nice article. I’m sharing.
Douglas,
Thank you for reading and sharing.
Christopher